I’ve never considered myself one that works to a schedule. I was always the artsy kid who freewheeled along and, truth be told, have pretty much continued that into adulthood. Everything gets done, but sometimes there’s a mad rush to get there, and there’s always too much on my plate, so something is always left hanging. But I’m used to it, life goes on…
So why, this year in particular, was I so flipping irritated by this wonderful, laid back two-week holiday break? Sure, I had to pop into work on a few mornings to make sure shipments went out, but overall, there was not game plan. No travel. No big group of company to host. It was just us three, hubby, daughter and I – doing what we “do”.
Oh, did I mention that hubby and daughter are’t too crazy about “doing the horse thing?”
So, each day of our break, we’d all look to the other with eyebrows raised, “what to do today?” All the while, I’m looking back at them and thinking, “well, it’s (fill in the day), and if you were on your way to school, and you on your way to work, I know exactly what I’d be doing.”
But instead, what I say is, “Well, it’s nice today, I think I’ll get a ride in. Then after, maybe we can (fill in the blank — go to the mall, gun show… etc..)”
To be fair, I didn’t get much guff, but I felt GUILTY every day I made it to the barn — and we’re only talking three days total.
So, it comes back to the schedule. Apparently I now relish a scheduled life. Who knew? I just realized that over the past year, I’ve carved my ride times out of my work day, not after work, for minimal impact on family time. In fact, we have our shows scheduled for the YEAR already – all strategically planned around hubby and daughter stuff for minimal friction (ie: horse shows on Father’s Day and Superbowl Sunday? You’ll not see me there.)
So I’ve become a scheduled person without my knowledge – and this holiday break killed my clever scheme.
I guess the next step is throwing it all to the wind and riding without apology. Saddling up without the guilt that I should be doing something considered productive by my determinedly non-horsey family. Like working, writing my book, doing something with hubby/daughter, vacuuming…